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This is my personal & professional blog.  It's a place for me to think out loud and learn. I'll sometimes talk about things I don't understand as a way to begin to understand them. I'll often be wrong, short sighted, and unclear. When you see this happening, please point it out!

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Conflagartion of Innocence

I've always been a fan of bold claims. They're simple, they're absolute, they're fiery/inspirational/the fabric of legends. I recently made the following claim "I'm not 17 anymore. I'm more amazed now by a deed done than an idea conceived. A product delivered than a phrase turned.".

I've come to believe this wholeheartedly. But the interesting piece is why.

It's not that I've accomplished so much and look back at my litany of accomplishments and say, "hell yeah, rockstar--you're kicking some ass". When I see software sitting in a box at Frye's, I never think about all the driven devs behind it--those who toiled months to make Windows boot 5 seconds faster.

Rather, this about-face is born from confronting reality. Reality is clear, unequivocal, omnipresent, and often instransigent. And yet, all this time, I didn't see it!

I see now the dichotomy between thinking something and doing it. Action is not a natural extension of thought! Let me repeat, thinking something doesn't mean you're making that something happen. The subconcious is good but it's not that good.

I've never been lazy; I've never been one to dream small. But dreaming big is fuckin hard.

I'm a big fan of taking all the nuances of my life and graphing them on a cartesan plane. Time the X axis and fun/success/joy/happiness the Y. To date, there is no inflection point. No point where I break out; no point where the trajectory puts me on a course to conquer the world :). I've never felt the sense of urgency to find/force/muster an inflection point that I do now.

Let me be clear--I am not frustrated or saddened by this discovery. Rather, it gives me new appreciation for the megalomaniacs of this world...

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